Lisa Dale Miller, MFT #43725
Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapist
Los Gatos, CA USA
adults—couples—adolescents
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408-919-7008
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Lisa's Latest Dharma Talk!
The Brahmaviharas and their Near and Far Enemies
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only regarding an available clinical service. The diagnosis or treatment of any
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if appropriate, will be agreed upon in writing following an initial consultation.
If a psychotherapy relationship is not possible, for whatever reason, appropriate
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Finding Freedom in Uncertainty
A dharma talk at the Marin Sangha by Lisa Dale Miller, MFT
February 15, 2009
Equanimity within sea of turmoil (posted 9/29/08)
Lisa Dale Miller, MFT
"True peace is not indifference or emotional resignation; it is the still point, the living reality of the present." Jack Kornfield, PhD, The Wise Heart
This last week has felt like we have all been on a communal financial roller coaster. America in its insistence upon increase, greed, and consumerism, has strayed far from its roots in the values of simple human kindness, caring, and sharing.
So many moments I have found myself feeling fearful and uncertain about the future. And each of those moments have been an invitation to use my mindfulness practice. Whenever I notice my mind becoming gripped with strong emotions, this is the time to find my center in the here and now by drawing awareness to my next breath and fully, completely, enjoying the experience of breathing. Once I find myself in the present, my mind can release itself from the fear of the future, realizing this is a future of its own creation, not what is real in the here and now.
This process of finding oneself in the present is not about banishing distressful emotions. Quite the contrary. It is a fully mindful, compassionate embrace of experience as it actually is, not what the mind fears it is. This is the peace of mind Jack refers to as the "still point within the living reality of the present." How I truly am is my embodied now experience: not my mental ideation about the past or future I am experiencing in the now. A mind that is not present will hold onto regret, sadness, fear, and uncertainty, creating a narrative about it that feels very real. Yet what a straying mind misses is the awareness of self and body, here and now.
Within the turmoil and worry about personal/communal financial well-being is a continuum of still points in each successive moment. We can all have access to the stillness whenever we wish, by noticing where the mind is and bringing back to the reality of the here and now. Even if your here and now experience is full of the recognition of loss, your mind is still capable of finding freedom from suffering through the recognition of the beauty of the living moment just as it is. This is my wish for us all as we surf these next days of uncertainty.
Making Change Happen Successfully
Lisa Dale Miller, MFT
Are you contemplating change, starting anew or transforming harmful ways of thinking and behaving? People can be so afraid of change, even though change is a natural process. It is the one thing in life we can always count on. Nothing stays the same; everything is constantly changing.
So how do we apply the naturally occurring energy of change in a directed way? Change requires an open mind, creativity, a sense of adventure, as well as some measure of fearlessness, risk tolerance, and flexibility. The key to making purposeful changes lies in setting achievable goals and sustaining clear intention for successful completion.
Once you have decided upon the changes you wish to make, apply three important components for successful change: Intention, attention, and remembering.
- Change itself is the intention. What is needed is specificity about the nature of change and a clear delineation of incremental steps for successful completion.
- Attention is the effort and energy we apply to making change a reality. This attention can take the form of mental, physical, emotional or spiritual efforts to remain focused on specific goals.
- Remembering is a gentle, compassionate, active reminding of our intention for change. Remembering is a critical part of making successful change, since the process of change can include times when we may lose interest, feel doubtful or even overwhelmed. So remembering our goals, reinvigorating intention, and refocusing attention become important allies in our effort to create change.
Think of the process of change as a creative partner. Doing this leads to all sorts of innovations along the way. When we release the need to know exactly how change will occur, we open ourselves to a world of infinite possibilities for how our goals will eventually be realized.
Again, intention becomes critical for partnering with the inevitable creative chaos of change. As long we hold our intentions mindfully, always refocusing our attention on cultivating positive, life-affirming changes, even in the face of inevitable shedding of old patterns of thought and behaviors, successful change will happen.
Remember to be still when it is time to be still, and be active when it is time to be active. All things are of the nature to arise and pass away. We fail to succeed when we hold tightly to the illusion of permanence. Let go of fear and give in to flow!
©2008 Lisa Dale Miller